Tuesday, February 14, 2017

My fairy tale

For the longest time I've been wondering when will my turn come. I've waited and waited for a long time for the moment where my dream guy will appear in my life and sweep me off my feet. Unfortunately for me, years have passed and there's no sign of him anywhere. Life's not a fairy tale after all. :)

I've thought over and over again in my head if I'm being too intimidating? Too serious? Not proactive enough? Too smart? Not pretty enough?

I've seen so many articles online telling girls how they should act or what they should do to attract the guy that they are interested in to them. If every girl were to act the same way, how would guys differentiate them? How would the girl stand out?

I could act that way too if I wanted to but it's not for me. I don't believe in playing games, not especially with a potential future partner. I want to present the real me because I want the person to know from the start the kind of person I am. I think it would be really sweet if the guy could truly see me for who I am and accept every part of me, including the ugly parts.

In the long term, every relationship will go through difficult moments where there are arguments or disagreements or obstacles. To me, if a guy could see me at my lowest point and still accept me for who I am. He's someone I would hold on to.

At one point in my life, I thought I had met someone special. I was meeting him almost as often my own best friend and we were talking to each other almost every day. In one of the meetings with him, he was telling me how amazing he thinks I am because of all that I have achieved, the things that I can do and the type of person that I am. At that moment, I thought that it was the sweetest thing that a guy have ever told me because it mentioned nothing about my outward appearance....just me on the inside and my achievements.

While he has dropped subtle hints, he has never vocally voiced it out that he has a thing for me. It was something that I've always wondered about. Through time, I realised that everything was just in my head. Time showed me that the guy had no interest in me at all and at my lowest point, I didn't even know if I was his friend. This showed me that of course he had nice things to say about me when I had a lot to offer to the friendship and needed nothing in return. When the situation was switched, things became different.

Through this experience, I truly began to understand the meaning of the advice 3 really good friends told me on 3 separate occasions.

"If a guy really love you, you don't have to do anything, you will know it through his actions."

While I've never been the type to chase after boys as I'm usually on the passive side, I have thoughts on whether I'm being too passive. An older male acquaintance once told me that males too get intimidated and needed to be reassured or given hope before they dared to chase after a girl. At that point, I thought that maybe if I created more opportunities to meet, he would get it.....e.g. to go for meals together. But unfortunately, I just ended up in disappointments each time.

Thankfully, I've walked out of this experience a stronger person. I'm still the same little girl on the inside waiting for her prince charming to appear. While it may seem stupid to just wait again, that's exactly what I'm going to do. There's no point in chasing love and guessing if someone is the one. There's is also no need for me to do anything extra because as they said, "if you're the one he wants, he would work hard to make it happen".

So how will I know if he's the one? That one special moment when my heart gets touched. The moment when even my brain is questioning whatever did I do in my life to deserve to have this angel by my side. :)

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