After 1 whole week, I've finally made up my mind to reject the offer. Last year, when I applied for the fellow, it was all that I wanted! Though I didn't have high hopes after hearing that a friend had failed to get it the year before. Anyhow, I really wanted to go so I applied for it!
Finally when the results came out, I wasn't surprised that I didn't make it as they had mention that there were many highly-qualified applicants. However, they said that as my scores were close to those who were selected, I could be placed in the waiting list if I wanted to. Naturally, I jumped at the opportunity.
That opportunity finally came last week when I received an email, telling me that one participant had to pull out and hence, I was selected. I was extremely happy when I first saw the email......but that was short-lived.
....insufficient funding.....thesis....viva.....etc.......plus all the negative thoughts that started popping up in my head.....blame it on the hormones.....
Right now is truly a stressful time as I'm busy with my thesis. Moreover, the timeline for everything from here on is basically unknown. Plus my uni only has a 1 week notice for viva. Moreover, even for the corrections after that, my uni has a strict rule that it could only be done during office hours in uni.
Definitely not a good choice to have any plans to travel to anywhere...... I have been working on this for 5 years now, just a few more steps, I don't want to be distracted by any other things or cancel my travel plans later on. I have to place my priority in the right place!
This was definitely an amazing opportunity and I might not get another one if I miss this chance. But I believe that this will not be last one.....more opportunities like these will definitely come up again along my journey.
I may not have been the first-choice this round, but in the next round.....I will make sure that I am their first choice!!! It will make the trip worth that much more!!! *determined*
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