New beginnings

October was definitely a challenging month where I had to learn to adapt quickly in 2 new environments and this crazy mix of emotions in myself as well.

A friend whom I felt close to seemed to be faced with some sort of troubles and frustration and I thought that I was the cause of it because of some things that we had talked about recently and also because my friend started to feel distant. I was upset because I didn't want to bring sadness to anyone that I cared about and thought that it'd be better to distant myself too in hopes that things would get better for my friend. But I guess in my confused state with all the mixed feelings, my emotions got the better of me. I did eventually apologize for being harsh but I guess there are somethings that you cannot take back.

Living with another person proved harder than I thought. It was my first time and I had no experience before that. I had to really learn how to just let things go and to communicate better.

Changing jobs and being in a completely new environment is also a challenge. I had to learn to work in a different work environment that uses Japanese. I came across all the things that I had heard about before from friends and got to experience them first hand. While I have prepared myself mentally for it, experiencing those things first hand was still shocking.

In Oct, I was glad that I had been honest with my own feelings and spoke what was truly on my mind even though my appreciation for the friendship wasn't reciprocated. I felt better after speaking about my thoughts. I'm hoping that being true to myself is a sign of becoming more mature. I hope that in future, I could meet people who could speak their mind and honestly to me too.

At the same time, I was really glad to have friends around me whom I could talk to about anything. I'm really thankful to have them by my side to listen to my troubles and just offer me support.

Also, I had some nice food escapades. Like discovering a nice sushi restaurant near my office...... It's a place I could visit to reward myself every once in a while. heehee...

Also, it was nice to catch up with T-san again after so long. It was also nice to discover Yokohama station for the first time. It was definitely an interesting place that  deserves more visits in the future.

While things have changed drastically for me in Oct and I've been troubled by mixed emotions, I'm hoping that these experiences had helped me to grow to become a better person.

I hope that things will get better from now.